A new life in Belize

Slim and Chunky

Slim ( female ) Chunky (male) our great friends visited from the UK  recently, we’d missed their wedding so we were really looking forward to a celebration (Piss up)  i even caught the bus up to Cancun as they have never been anywhere without a  Holiday Rep waiting for them as they cleared customs. They of course were carrying contraband  Chunky’s 2011 home made orange wine and the Sibbo’s had sent us (ME)  4 chocolate oranges , 12 wagon wheels (Jammie) and 4 double double deckers …Chocolate is not a problem until it looks like an Apple , there bags were hoicked off the xray machine and checked …. Luckily on this occasion the crisp snap of a rubber glove was not heard in some back room customs office 🙂 …  We made it to Playa del Carmen just in the nick of time for the 4 hour express  to Chetumal  where our taxi driver met us and whisked us to the mexican Belize border… regular readers will be familiar with the border crossing money scam …so i changed tack this time ..  i approached the guy ..he said where have you been i said we have been to Chetumal ..he said are you Resident i said yes he just stamped all 3 of us out no exit fee for Slim and Chunky …. another breeze through Belize customs and we were sat in in H’s roof top lounge drinking Rose wine … alas disaster was discovery Chunky’s  bottle of Chateau de Orange 2011   had shattered in his suitcase …….  we’d  been waiting to drink that for a year .. may be next  time they can  drink ours  🙂

sc5The Blue nose gang

We took them to Lamanai  the troop of howler monkeys could be heard in the Distance and we were lucky to find them at the Jaguar mask temple,  we also discovered that Slim did not like heights BUT managed to get her to climb the Castillo ( Castle / High place)  she decided to come down step by step on her arse , probably explaining why it had a spread quite a few inches over the years 😉

Coming down from the high place

Coming down from the high place

The Lamanai site is one of the best in Belize and is spread out in the jungle connected by very good ,well maintained paths in the dry season early in the morning before the cruise ship crowds appear is very tranquil again we were the only people there . We spotted some army ants on the move   so walked over to investigate , you have to watch your step as they can spread up your legs and give give you a nasty nip pretty quickly…  we escaped mishap but here are the blighters pictured running up and over rocks .


on the march Army ants

There is also an old abandoned sugar mill which has been lost to the jungle ..i’d seen the path before disappearing out of sight and decided not to take it ..BUT threw caution to the wind and boldly ventured down it i had a long stick in front of me  just in case of well camouflaged Fer de Lance snakes which are abundant at this site  …. about 15 minutes into the jungle we came across a clearing ..behold the lost sugar mill with a tree growing out the middle of it …  it was steam powered and still in pretty could fettle for 150 years old


The jungle slowly reclaiming the Sugar Mill at lamanai

We talked Slim and Chunky into going to Caye Caulker for the night and stayed in Popeye’s beach resort is right on the beach and reasonably priced and the owners are really good fun Ron and Christina  i would recommend any one traveling to Caye Caulker to stay there ..just mention our names and your sure to be thrown right out on your arse 🙂  .. we of course sampled the wares of the lazy lizard bar at the split…. and Ron let us use his small boat to tootle around the island and moor at the lazy lizard, as the day before we left, i stood on an Hibiscus thorn that went a good inch into my foot and hurt like f*%$ing hell. Because the One Barrell blow out was such a success on Caye Caulker before .. we recreated it in the jacuzzi at Popeye’s Beach Resort much to the surprise of Christina who let us just get on with it ..we did offer for her to join us but Chunky’s speedo’s ( budgie smugglers) maybe put her off 🙂

Wankered at Popeye's

Wankered at Popeye’s

Chunky  is a dab hand in the kitchen so we asked him to rustle up a chicken korma back at Rock Lodge  , people who know me will be surprised as garlic bread really pushes my culinary boundaries but i had Indian just before i left the UK for the first time with Shab and Naila at a place on the A38  outside of derby called Anoki  it’s a great traditional restaurant if your ever in the area. Chunky did a great job  (unlike his failed yorkshire puddings) and it reminded us our monthly dinner at theirs ,the Sibbo’s or our house back in the UK . When my Dad came over he brought me the one thing i had been craving over here …proper knives and forks   i know it sounds silly but i hate eating with crappy cutlery and he brought our old set from the UK that was too heavy to pack when we originally came out with just a bag each. Dad also complained that i took his belt , jumper ( for cold 20c mornings in January) , tracky bottoms , shorts with zip pockets all QUALITY stuff you can’t get here ..he says he came with 21kg and went back with 3kg 🙂 . Disaster struck whilst Slim and Chunky were here , took them kayaking to a lovely secluded beach just down the bay and the bottom plexiglass window dropped out of my kayak luckily we were only a mile or so away so we loaded it on top of the double kayak and beach combed our way back , just waiting for a friend to bring me the right glue back from the states if they see any . The funniest point of their whole stay was when i took the guitar down to H Cove and was practicing Dueling banjo’s and Chunky said “if there is anyone in those bushes and they hear this music they will pull up their pants so fast up the cracks of their arses .. you won’t see them for dust .. it was quite hilarious   …… i was going to take a photo of all the booze bottles we drank during their stay but decided that people may think  we had a problem..we don’t and we can handle it  🙂





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